A funny moment with the sweet girl today, one that brought me some much needed laughter...and a bit of perspective!
After a very busy couple of weeks, I finally found time to sit down today and do some work on the family finances (write checks, etc.) only to find that I had once again neglected to pay a couple of important bills. This has happened a few times lately, and it's not helping our family's already stretched-tight financial situation.
I know this isn't mere forgetfulness. I'm pretty sure I understand what's going on and how to correct it; it's just a matter of doing it. Because we've had some pretty long seasons of debt and financial hardship, and because those are the kinds of difficulties that can make me most anxious, I've been trying to "not think about it" unless and until I absolutely have to. Dumb, very dumb. Putting this out of sight and out of mind isn't helping matters. I need to be disciplined: do what I need to do well and carefully, but not give into fretting, especially since fretting is useless. It's a bit of a balancing act, and one I've obviously not been doing well.
I still had papers spread out all over the living room floor when it was time to get the sweet girl up from her afternoon rest time. I still felt terribly preoccupied with numbers when I poked my head into her room, where she was cuddling with some of her stuffed animals. I let her know rest time was over and asked if she'd like a snack.
"Yes," she said. And then added, "Mommy, why does your face look like that?"
"Like what?" I asked, probably adding to the look she was noting by my puzzlement.
"Like THAT." She tried to scrunch her own fair, unwrinkled little face. "Like your forehead is all wrinkled."
I was beginning to get it. "You mean, like this?" I asked, purposefully scowling and wrinkling my brow.
"Yes! Like that!"
I half-sighed, half-chuckled. And I told her, in all honesty, that Mommy was having to spend the afternoon thinking about bills to pay and being on the phone with people we owed money to, and that those things made me feel sort of anxious and worried, even though I know they shouldn't. "So I'm feeling worried, and I'm thinking a lot. And I guess that's why my forehead is all wrinkled," I concluded.
She listened quite placidly and seemed to accept my explanation. Except then she added, with a wise little nod, "Yes, and you're thirty-nine."
Ah yes. That too.
Sometimes you just have to laugh. And thankfully, it turns out to be the best thing in the world for your face...and your soul!