Multitude Monday

It's been a long time since I've done a multitude Monday post -- a post where I add to my list of things I'm thankful for.

I don't, of course, only feel thankful when I write things on this list. But it's an exercise that does help me focus on gratitude. When I haven't done it for a while, and when I find myself thinking "ohhh...I don't feel like doing a gratitude post today" then I know it's time to do one.

Mondays have gotten very hard for us lately. Sundays have become far busier than I ever expected them to be: church, usually meetings (sometimes one, sometimes multiple) and somehow never enough rest. I often have to stay up late on Sunday evening, catching up with my class (they post on Saturdays) and prepping for the school week at home. And somehow we just never hit the ground running on Mondays anymore.

That would be fine with me -- I'm really getting into slowing down. But the sweet girl is having a hard time with that concept lately. Stillness, relaxation, spontaneity: they're not easy things for her. We do manage pockets of quiet in the day (hooray for paper dolls and classical music and good books) but her intense and often anxious nature can still easily obsess about doing things a certain way or in a certain format/order. So when Monday gets off on the wrong foot, as it often does lately, it can sometimes just stay on that wrong foot all day. Like a one-legged kangaroo.

I used to get uptight and frustrated in response (oh, okay, sometimes I still do) but nowadays I am better at trying to gently defuse the struggle and help her grapple with her feelings. Sometimes that means humor, sometimes it just means refusing to enter into the anxiousness. Sometimes it means calmly going on and doing whatever I'd planned for us to do and waiting for her to want to join in. Sometimes it means singing. Tonight she got uptight about reading the Bible: she's struggling her way through Genesis, but is determined to read it all on her own and all the way through, no matter how hard it feels and no matter that I've told her that it's really okay if she doesn't read it all right now (this was a goal she set for herself, and while I love that she did, it's so hard to see her struggle through something that I long to be a quiet joy...)

But you know what? God knows what he's doing in her heart. And maybe it's not my place to derail this particular struggle, beyond my gentle encouragement that she not get discouraged, that she takes it slow and easy. So I didn't fight it tonight. I didn't lecture her about how Scripture is supposed to be a joy (because really, is that going to help her heart?). I let her storm off in some petulant tears, and then I stayed at the table and read my Bible for a while. And then I sang some hymns. By the time she came back into the room in her pajamas, I was still singing hymns and I felt a whole lot better. And she looked at me with that loving "hey, my mommy really is a little bit crazy" look, and then she smiled. And I felt God smiling on us both, in all our raggedy, messy struggles.

So my thanksgivings...

115. I felt God smiling on us both, in all our raggedy, messy struggles.

116. Spring is truly coming! Crocuses are in bloom! Light is changing!

117. My precious husband and I took the trash out together this afternoon. Which means we got a little walk in the sunshine in the midst of an otherwise incredibly busy day when we hardly saw each other. And we laughed a lot over the fact that a walk to the trash could be such a blessing.

118. Time with friends yesterday eve, including some we'd not seen in a while. A chance to rejoice with them and their little one as he celebrated his third birthday.

119. Time with some of those same friends the evening before, at a local restaurant.

120. A beautiful CD of classical music from the library this weekend, which the sweet girl spent part of the afternoon dancing/skating to. Imaginary skating, but nonetheless beautiful...and great exercise!

121. Some Puccini on that CD that is breath-taking.

122. A good start to my Lenten reading plans. I'm not as far along in the Psalter as I planned to be at this stage, but I am finding a reading rhythm, and I am loving the reading.

123. Gifts from four families to help with our livelihood and ongoing expenses (as we face upcoming job transitions). God's amazing and faithful provision through his people, and through opportunities to work.

124. An opportunity to share the gospel with a child last week who truly had never heard the good news.

125. Safety for various people we know (or friends and family of friends) who could have been in harm's way during the earthquake/tsunami in Japan, but who are safe. Though many prayers and tears for all those harmed or lost in that terrible tragedy. I'm not thankful for the tragedy, but thankful for prayers, tears, outpouring of love, and God's faithfulness and love in the midst of suffering.

126. A creative plunge I'm taking. More on that soon.