Saturday, April 16, 2011

Reviews of Bad Motels

So we're contemplating taking a brief family trip in honor of Easter, our upcoming 19th anniversary, and my husband's upcoming 50th birthday. We're feeling worn out (to put it mildly) and in need of a definite break. The only problem, of course, is that we really can't afford to swing for a hotel. The more we've looked, the more we've been appalled by prices, and by the fact that so many places don't even serve breakfast anymore even though prices are so high.

So we began looking for "motels" within a certain area, and found one that seemed very reasonably priced. Anything is too high for our budget, but this seemed at least somewhere in the realm of doable. Until my husband said, "why don't you check out some reviews of the place?" I found 38 reviews and we started reading...

And suddenly found ourselves laughing so hard I thought I might fall off my chair. It's a good thing I wasn't drinking milk!

Reading bad motel reviews could become something of a new favorite past-time, I think. Or perhaps I should say reading reviews of bad motels, which is a nicer and more accurate description (the reviews themselves were written just fine). The reviews on this particular motel (I will spare the chain by not saying its name, or the town this particular motel was located in...I think they've got enough trouble with these 38 reviews!) were just hysterical. The more we read, the harder we laughed. You might expect a handful of reviews to note a handful of problems. But these reviews read "worst place I've ever stayed in my whole life!" and "never again!" and the problems piled on so high that we were practically gasping and clutching our sides.

Bed bugs. Roaches. Ill-fitting sheets. No stoppers in the bath-tub. No fridge or microwave as promised. Fleas! Traffic noise. And...I kid you not...and this one made me howl (not that it's really funny, but it was just like one more thing on top of this tottering mountain of awfulness) one review said someone on the hotel staff had stolen their iPod!

I don't think you could invent this much misery if you tried! I think my favorite was the line "all the rotten reviews you read here are real..."

Anyway, we needed the laugh. Who needs a vacation? Reading reviews of bad motels is a wonderful stress-buster!


Erin said...

Hee! There is a real visceral pleasure in lambasting something awful, isn't there? Those reviews sound like a hoot! Though I hope you can find a decent motel...

Beth said...

Erin, it was hysterical! The more we read, the more we had to keep reading...just for the sheer fun of it. If you could have added orphans and some gruel, it would have been a motel straight out of Dickens! :)

I think we've officially given up the motel/hotel search. If we're able to travel at all, it's going to have to be in a family-ward direction. :)

Annette W. said...

Oh, you are funny!

Congrats on your wedding anniversary and your husband's birthday!

Have a beautiful Easter! Thanks for entering our Emily giveaway!

Beth said...

Thanks, Annette! A blessed Easter to you too!

I'm glad I could bring a smile -- I hope you'll stop back again!

And I was very excited to hear about the Emily giveaway. It just occurred to me that you've got a namesake in Emily's cousin! (Do you think she ended up marrying Don? And if so, were they happy? One of those literary questions for the ages...)