Summer! And The Blessing of "Ears to Hear"

I know that summer doesn't officially start for another few weeks, but I can't help but feel we had our unofficial start today. That's for two reasons: we finished up formal school routine/kindergarten year yesterday (hooray for us!) and because I finally turned a major corner health-wise.

I've been battling ear problems for well over six months now. It started back in November. I can still recall almost the exact moment when I felt that my ears suddenly "closed up" inside, and I began having difficulty hearing. For a long time I battled what felt like sloshing fluid in both ears, and varying levels of pressure and discomfort. It would get better for a while -- long enough that I would think it was going away -- but it always came back. I tried homeopathy (which I often find effective) and just flat-out ignoring it, not wanting to deal with doctor bills (given my current terrible insurance situation, always very high) or with antibiotics, which I don't deal with at all well.

In March, the discomfort and annoyance suddenly morphed into real pain. I had a day when I thought my head was going to explode from pain and pressure. I ended up in an emergency visit to the doctor and went on a huge round of antibiotics which helped my ears drain. It was a drag, but I thought I finally had the thing beat. I was a little dismayed that I still felt some pressure in my ears even after the round of antibiotics, but I talked myself into thinking it would go away. For several weeks, I struggled with that pressure again and with bouts of time when I wasn't hearing well at all, especially on my right side. Then two weeks ago, everything started getting really bad again in BOTH ears; by the end of last week I was finding it difficult to hear people talking, and I gave in and went to the doctor again. My regular doc didn't know what to do this time as she didn't see any infection, but she knew my eardrums didn't look normal, so she sent me to an ENT. Thanks be to God, the practice had a cancellation and got me in almost right away.

And that's where I spent yesterday, having hearing tests and finally getting my ears fully and completely drained. Apparently my eustachian tube is not functioning well and I'm prone to this kind of terrible fluid build-up. I've gone through this procedure one other time (when I was eight months pregnant) and believe me, it is a drag. It hurts. But the pain is relatively brief, and when it's over, there is the blessed and almost immediate relief of pressure.

I'd lived with that pressure so long this time that I'd almost forgotten what it felt like not to have it, and today I am slightly euphoric (though worn out and ear-sore and a bit disoriented, since I am perceiving every noise, even slight ones, at a much louder than usual volume). I am feeling utterly thankful that I sustained no nerve damage. If all goes well, I should return to completely normal hearing. And that is just an amazing blessing, as I'd begun (seriously) to fear that I'd never hear normally again.

When you haven't heard clearly in many months, tiny things are such a joy. The voice of my husband and daughter. Not needing to ask them to repeat themselves over and over! The patter of rain on our skylight this morning, the fizzing sound of carbonated bubbles in a glass of soda this afternoon, the ability to fully sing again -- I love to sing, but haven't been able to clearly gauge volume or pitch for a long time. I even slipped on earphones this afternoon for a little while -- though I suspect I should go easy on that for awhile -- and played the beginning of the disc that happened to be in the computer CD player. It was the soundtrack to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and I almost cried at the clarity and beauty of the first rollicking, joyful notes of the opening track called "Fireworks."

Since it was pouring rain all morning, and I felt like I needed to take it easy and rest, the sweet girl and I spent a quiet morning together doing fun things (with no school routine). I got out a wonderful set of "Little House in the Big Woods" paper dolls I bought at a yard sale a few years back and had put away until she was older and we had such a rainy day as this one. We punched out dolls and sets and props and cut out clothes with tiny little tabs while we listened to the first 4 chapters of Noel Streatfield's Ballet Shoes read on CD. Ah, quiet mornings and a slower summer routine. And the blessing of being able to hear again. It doesn't get much better than that.