Some Favorite Moments

This week has been full of fun moments. Here are just a few...

First, I'd forgotten how wonderful it feels to get dirt under your fingernails. The sweet girl and I have begun planting in our raised bed in the community gardens. We did a few potted flowering plants, and plan to do a few other potted/seedling sorts of transplants (some herbs, maybe a tomato plant or two, or some green peppers) but even though it's late in the season to start, we thought we'd give some seeds a try. We'll see how it goes. I'd almost forgotten the wonderful absurdity of seeds. So tiny they're almost not there -- hard to hold onto when the wind is blowing -- paper thin -- easy to lose -- and YET. We plant them with this cheerful expectation that something real and living will emerge from them, maybe even grow beautiful and fruitful. No wonder Jesus loved seeds as kingdom metaphors.

Then there's the joy of finishing a task, and finishing it well! After the great computer crash of late May/early June, I finally got the homeschool portfolio completely finished. Had a blessedly graced evaluation time with the official evaluator yesterday (sweet girl read to her from "Ramona's World") and today I handed the portfolio with official evaluator letter over to the district office. Hey, 24 hours to spare! The regular secretary wasn't there, but the helpful person in the office filled out the receipt for me. And I wish you could have seen my face when she asked, "So, do you have your affidavit for the 2011-2012 school year yet?" Um. Oh...right...I have to do this *all over again*.... She quickly assured me I still had time, but added some folks just turn them in when they bring the portfolio for the year just finishing. Which is really smart, but far more together than I can manage to be at the moment!

Finally, in the little gifts are sometimes the best gifts category, I've been thoroughly enjoying how much the sweet girl is loving one of her simplest birthday presents. I picked up a new sketch diary for her, along with a set of Crayola "pipsqueak" markers (little ones, brightly colored). They've gotten tons of use, and she's completely enthusiastic. Yes, the big present (a lovely doll she's named Emily Susanah Madeleine) was also a hit, but it's a good reminder to me that a small gift, lovingly chosen, is sometimes the best gift of all.

And without realizing it, I think I just added three things to my ongoing gratitude list. (#s 137-139)

Gratitude Tuesday (the post-Easter version)

We traveled back from Virginia yesterday, not getting in until pretty late. I was too tired to do a Monday gratitude post, though there was much to be thankful for at the end of a long, hard and stressful week.

We spent Easter weekend with my mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law. His alzheimer's has worsened greatly, and they are on the cusp of a very big move which is involving the selling of both their houses, including my husband's childhood home. We also went to the lot where developers recently bulldozed my husband's grandparents' beautiful little house to make room for the cookie cutter mansion now planted on the former lawn. Lots of stress and emotions over those few days, and much tiredness. And yet good to be together, good to love one another in the midst of it all.

The sweet girl has had a very hard week. Her anxiety struggles, which wax and wane, and which recently had seemed so very much better, kicked into high gear about a week ago. Our travels seemed to exacerbate them, and that was hard on this mama bear, who is feeling pretty worn out and in need of a fresh jolt of grace, gentleness, Jesus peace.

In the midst of it all: Easter! He is risen!
And yesterday, traveling our tired way home, our nineteenth wedding anniversary.

So.....the gratitude is poured out from a weary but deeply thankful heart.


127. Christ is risen! The Lord is risen indeed! Hallelujah!

128. 19 years with my beloved husband. The grace to be able to smile our way through an anniversary day/evening which felt, by necessity, so prosaic and ordinary...and yet the joy of realizing how many prosaic and ordinary days we've been blessed with, as well as moments that sparkle and shine. And the knowledge that we're held together, through both, by God's great love and the love he's built between us, like a beautiful bridge.

129. The opportunity to just be present to D's family right now, especially his mom.

130. Safe travels to and from Virginia, especially knowing how tired we are and how old our car is.

131. A new windshield for our car.

132. An unexpected blessing of a gift from friends. The Lord continues to help us put aside some provision for the very lean months coming.

133. No answers yet on vocational/job questions, which loom so large. And yet more peace than we've expected in the midst of not having those answers.

134. The beautiful flowering dogwoods in Virginia, pink and white.

135. Time for the sweet girl to play in Grandma's yard and tree. The precious way she ran all around the house, hugging each corner of it to say good-bye, when we left.

136. As we "lose" yet one more home, one more green space (that feel so rare and precious in our lives) the opportunity to lean deeper still into Jesus, who is truly our home and truly our green space.

Multitude Monday

It's been a long time since I've done a multitude Monday post -- a post where I add to my list of things I'm thankful for.

I don't, of course, only feel thankful when I write things on this list. But it's an exercise that does help me focus on gratitude. When I haven't done it for a while, and when I find myself thinking "ohhh...I don't feel like doing a gratitude post today" then I know it's time to do one.

Mondays have gotten very hard for us lately. Sundays have become far busier than I ever expected them to be: church, usually meetings (sometimes one, sometimes multiple) and somehow never enough rest. I often have to stay up late on Sunday evening, catching up with my class (they post on Saturdays) and prepping for the school week at home. And somehow we just never hit the ground running on Mondays anymore.

That would be fine with me -- I'm really getting into slowing down. But the sweet girl is having a hard time with that concept lately. Stillness, relaxation, spontaneity: they're not easy things for her. We do manage pockets of quiet in the day (hooray for paper dolls and classical music and good books) but her intense and often anxious nature can still easily obsess about doing things a certain way or in a certain format/order. So when Monday gets off on the wrong foot, as it often does lately, it can sometimes just stay on that wrong foot all day. Like a one-legged kangaroo.

I used to get uptight and frustrated in response (oh, okay, sometimes I still do) but nowadays I am better at trying to gently defuse the struggle and help her grapple with her feelings. Sometimes that means humor, sometimes it just means refusing to enter into the anxiousness. Sometimes it means calmly going on and doing whatever I'd planned for us to do and waiting for her to want to join in. Sometimes it means singing. Tonight she got uptight about reading the Bible: she's struggling her way through Genesis, but is determined to read it all on her own and all the way through, no matter how hard it feels and no matter that I've told her that it's really okay if she doesn't read it all right now (this was a goal she set for herself, and while I love that she did, it's so hard to see her struggle through something that I long to be a quiet joy...)

But you know what? God knows what he's doing in her heart. And maybe it's not my place to derail this particular struggle, beyond my gentle encouragement that she not get discouraged, that she takes it slow and easy. So I didn't fight it tonight. I didn't lecture her about how Scripture is supposed to be a joy (because really, is that going to help her heart?). I let her storm off in some petulant tears, and then I stayed at the table and read my Bible for a while. And then I sang some hymns. By the time she came back into the room in her pajamas, I was still singing hymns and I felt a whole lot better. And she looked at me with that loving "hey, my mommy really is a little bit crazy" look, and then she smiled. And I felt God smiling on us both, in all our raggedy, messy struggles.

So my thanksgivings...

115. I felt God smiling on us both, in all our raggedy, messy struggles.

116. Spring is truly coming! Crocuses are in bloom! Light is changing!

117. My precious husband and I took the trash out together this afternoon. Which means we got a little walk in the sunshine in the midst of an otherwise incredibly busy day when we hardly saw each other. And we laughed a lot over the fact that a walk to the trash could be such a blessing.

118. Time with friends yesterday eve, including some we'd not seen in a while. A chance to rejoice with them and their little one as he celebrated his third birthday.

119. Time with some of those same friends the evening before, at a local restaurant.

120. A beautiful CD of classical music from the library this weekend, which the sweet girl spent part of the afternoon dancing/skating to. Imaginary skating, but nonetheless beautiful...and great exercise!

121. Some Puccini on that CD that is breath-taking.

122. A good start to my Lenten reading plans. I'm not as far along in the Psalter as I planned to be at this stage, but I am finding a reading rhythm, and I am loving the reading.

123. Gifts from four families to help with our livelihood and ongoing expenses (as we face upcoming job transitions). God's amazing and faithful provision through his people, and through opportunities to work.

124. An opportunity to share the gospel with a child last week who truly had never heard the good news.

125. Safety for various people we know (or friends and family of friends) who could have been in harm's way during the earthquake/tsunami in Japan, but who are safe. Though many prayers and tears for all those harmed or lost in that terrible tragedy. I'm not thankful for the tragedy, but thankful for prayers, tears, outpouring of love, and God's faithfulness and love in the midst of suffering.

126. A creative plunge I'm taking. More on that soon.

Thanksgiving Into Advent: A Funny Sort of Gratitude Post

I hope that you and your's had a blessed Thanksgiving!

We got back late last night from our Thanksgiving travels. And can I be honest? This trip was just hard.

It was hard for all sorts of reasons, some of which I understand and others I don't. There were obvious things that made it challenging, like way too much traffic, my blooming cold and cough (complete with sinus headache) which was aggravated by one house we stayed in being too hot and the other (at least the bedroom we slept in) too cold. The sweet girl was a whirl of emotions, loving time with family, but as the only kid in households of adults, sometimes struggling with all that "adult talk" that gets "soooo boring." And as always, dealing with the emotions of good-byes very hard for her. She had some struggles in the last two days particularly, with several outbursts, and I was on edge, feeling raggedy and sick, and lost my temper and my patience more than once.

Both our parental households (where we split the days we were away) are pretty stressed in different ways right now, with our moms worn out from care for dad and stepdad, both ill. At D's house, his stepfather's confusion, as his Alzheimer's worsens, continues to be a heartbreak for all of us and an especial challenge for his mom. At my house, I think my mom spent most of the time trying to make sure my dad didn't overdo while my sister and I spent most of our time trying to make sure mom didn't overdo. I was not fully prepared to see how tired my mother is. And it was painfully hard (since I'm being so honest here) to be with my sister for a couple of days and yet not really get any time just to be with my sister. Though I loved all the ways she went out of her way to make sure that she and the sweet girl got some special time together in the midst of everything.

So...home late last night to the realization that we had not bought any advent candles and to some tears as we tiredly straggled around our table, worn out from the jammed turnpike and a day where we hadn't always shown one another the grace we should (and I raise my hand first into the air here).

And yet...

So much to be thankful for. Thankful for:

88. ~the grace that met us round the mostly empty (except for a few old candle stubs) advent wreath, even when we didn't come with any of our own

89. ~the grace that always meets us, wherever we are, and sustains us even in difficult times

90. ~safe travels in our old car, despite so much traffic, and relatively few bad delays

91. ~time spent with loved ones, so dear to us

92. ~my Dad still being with us this Thanksgiving (something I would not have been at all sure of in May)

93. ~time just being hugged by my Mom

94. ~a delicious Thanksgiving dinner, prepared by loving hands, and the fun of both helping to prepare it and eat it!

95. ~time to get to know my brother-in-law better

96. ~the opportunity to "meet" (via phone) my niece's fiance -- and to celebrate in their joy as they're planning to wed in January

97. ~laughter with my sister

98. ~walking in the garden with Dad, and smelling the fall-blooming camellias, so lovely and mildly pink in the midst of the autumnal yard

99. ~having autumn back for a few days! (it's winter cold here, and the leaves mostly long gone, but there were still some brilliant colors down south)

100. ~the sweetness of my husband, especially when I was feeling anything but sweet

101. ~a special time at my husband's grandparents' graves, with his dear aunt

102. ~watching the sweet girl hand-in-hand with her aunt and uncle as we walked around the block in the neighborhood where I grew up

103. ~the license plate game -- what would we do without it?! -- and the fun of finding 38 states

104. ~the added fun of coming up with crazy mnemonics as we memorized the thirteen original colonies in order of their statehood

105. ~the colorful construction paper leaves on the "thankful tree" in the dining room, and the sweet girl's leaves (each signed with a flourish in her best cursive signature) especially the one that read simply "Lord, thank you for sending your Son."

106. ~remembering that God isn't through working in me -- and in all of us -- yet.

Gratitude Sunday

It's past midnight and I'm up responding to student papers. Feeling tired, feeling a tad bit anxious...not because the student papers aren't mostly brilliant and good reading, but because I've been overwhelmed in the past week or so with far too much to do, and very little time to focus and get it done as I'd like.

And I realized this evening, I am *way* overdue for a gratitude post.

So here it is, the exhausted, late-night, I-really-should-be-in-bed version of what I'm grateful for:

75. A fun day with my family. Saturday morning was especially delightful, with D's super-special artistic pancakes (have I mentioned that my husband can make incredible pancakes shapes? Like camels and hummingbirds?) followed by some errands and the library.

76. I heart our library. Seven things in on the hold shelf today, including books for school, a fun mid-grade novel with a Louisa May Alcott tie-in, season 2 of the Muppet Show (which we inaugurated at dinner) and some clarinet concertos by a Finnish performer I recently found on youtube. (And it suddenly strikes me that my Mamaw McCoy would have loved living in the 21st century...)

77. New mini-blinds for the living room window. Ours have been failing for weeks, squeaking terribly when you tried to pull them, snagging and pulling up crooked, even some slats breaking. Yesterday they came crashing down when I tried to open them! I thought replacing them would be wildly expensive, but we found just what we needed on sale at a local home store. They're a slightly creamier color than the blinds on the other window, which would bother me more except the way the sunlight shines through them feels richer and more golden -- more buttermilk custard than silvered. I found myself enthralled with the way the light looks -- enough that I'm thinking we might just go ahead and replace the other (equally ancient) set soon.

78. The love and generosity of a dear friend. Yesterday's mail brought us a gift we were not expecting in any way, shape, or form -- but which delighted our whole family so much. I sat down and cried when I opened it. We are the astonished and grateful recipients of a year-long family membership to the Carnegie musuems downtown. This is something we've always wanted to do and could never afford, and we're just...well...pretty speechless. Except I wanted to find and use words to tell our friend just how much she has blessed us. Thank you again, friend!

79. The chance to bless someone else with a small kindness this past week.

80. The sweet girl pretending to be a queen protecting princesses (two of her dolls) in seemingly constant peril. And my husband chortling and saying "You know how you felt like you struggled with catching her imagination when you were studying medieval history last year? Why is it she's totally into playing royalty when you're studying 'no more kings' and early American history?"

81. Warmer weather. Yes, I know, it's November, and it's supposed to be getting colder. And the temps yo-yo'ing back and forth means we're struggling with congestion and sore throats. But I know what's coming over the next four months, so I persist in total gratitude for sunny days in the 60s!

82. In the midst of the absolutely most crammed-busy time I can remember, taking the time to bake another loaf of bread from scratch yesterday. And enjoying the kneading of the dough as I listened to Mozart.

83. Drawing time with the sweet girl yesterday (again, another taking the time). Trying my hand at copying one of Audubon's snowy owls. Loving our Audubon studies this month.

84. 19 kids at the Thursday night outreach at church! Seeing what could have been total chaos turn into only mild chaos with real moments of God-touched connections and hope. Seeing how hungry some of the kids were for learning about peace, and our source of peace.

85. Time with the desert fathers as I've read for my diocesan and sem work this week. Even having to snatch reading time in the early morning and late at night, I just feel blessed to be able to hang out with folks like Abba Antony. Thank you, God, for all the saints.

86. An email from a dear friend yesterday morning, one that not only assured me of ongoing prayers, but showed me again how good the Lord is at helping others discern, even from afar, some of our deepest prayer needs.

87. The realization that, if I could keep my eyes open, I could keep this list going a lot longer.

Gratitude Thursday

I'm back...and you probably didn't even know I was gone!

We spent the past few days in Virginia visiting with my husband's family. His mother and stepfather are going through some major changes and challenges as his alzheimer's grows worse and it was a hard few days for all of us. Lots of laughter and love, yes, but also some stress and tears.

Seeing someone you love fall into such confusion and disorientation is always difficult. Robert is the only grandfather my daughter has ever known on her dad's side of the family (her paternal biological granddaddy died when she was three months old). And of course, my dad, her Papaw on the other side, has been quite ill this year too.

We got back last night, quite late, and all of us feeling right on the edge of getting sick. The sweet girl has congestion and a hacking cough; I'm battling sore throat and on-again/off-again sinus pain; Dana is just plain tired. We were so tired that we probably should have come straight home, but we decided to try to visit an old friend of D's in West Virginia. We met him and his youngest child for lunch, then followed them several miles off the highway to their house. It was good to see them, but we promptly got lost trying to find a way to another highway on our way out, and the whole day was like that -- missed turns, needing extra bathroom breaks, long lines at restaurants, tempers getting short from time to time, everybody just longing for home and our own beds, everyone just a little "off" emotionally.

The only thing that finally worked to get us all back to some sense of balance was a long time of reading aloud, which is one reason why my throat is sore and hoarse today. We finished The Wheel on the School (incredible book!) and plowed several chapters into The Long Winter. I was planning to read that one later this autumn, when we were closer to actual winter, but it happened to be handy as I scooped up a "just in case we need one more book for the car" book on my way out the door Sunday afternoon. And it turned out that Wilder was just the voice we needed in that final push homeward -- a prose voice we all know, love and appreciate so much.

You're probably wondering, given the title of this post, where's the gratitude? But there's a lot of there, shot through the details of the exhausting past few days. Here are just a few blessings I'm counting this afternoon (adding them to my ongoing gratitude list)...

63. The opportunity to just be present for my husband and his family through this really hard time. The blessing of hugs given and received, and laughter in the midst of hard decisions and painful moments.

64. The beautiful minute the other evening when Robert, D's stepdad, seemed to become fully and suddenly "himself" again. He smiled, made a joke, touched his wife's face with loving affection, gave me a wink. It faded quickly and he soon wandered off again, but it was such a good reminder of who he is (not who he "was" but still "is") and why my mom-in-law is doing her level best to make good decisions about loving care.

65. Fun cousin time for the sweet girl her younger cousin Tori (just one of two younger cousins she has -- though she has a plethora of older ones!)

66. The beauty of apple tree country when we got lost in W. VA. If one must get lost, getting lost on a beautiful blue-sky September day on winding roads past ripening orchards is definitely the way to do it.

67. Work to come home to. Yes, I'm being grateful for this. There is way too much of it, and I have no idea how it will all get done this autumn -- the overwhelmingness of it all kept me up part of the night, though a good prayer time enabled me to get back to sleep about 5 this morning.

68. And yes, we slept in.

69. Poetry. Billy Collins. 'Nuff said? I'm hoping to dig up some scraps of writing time to review his lovely collection The Trouble with Poetry which I finished reading early this morning.

70. Homeschool resources and books from my sis-in-law. She brought a huge plastic tub of stuff over for me to go through, and I plowed through with great eagerness (there was a lot of plowing through of "stuff" over the past few days, as we began to help my mother-in-law go through things preparatory for their big move to a retirement community). It was fun, in the midst of all that, to have some good books to go through. We wedged them into the back of the car, a couple of nice big stacks.

71. The first book I saw on top of the stack, when I opened the big tub, was a copy of Melisa Wiley's Little House in the Highlands. Almost cried when I saw it -- in the middle of exhaustion and much emotion, seeing that there was like seeing a note from an old friend. (I know Melissa is just a blog acquaintance, but she blesses my life regularly...and what delight to own this lovely book!)

72. A chance to talk with my mom by phone for a while, during the time we were at my mother-in-law's. It was one of the hardest decisions in the world to not go on to Richmond; I miss my parents so. My dad, thankfully, is still stable and seems to be strengthening, but I miss them. But I trusted their wise counsel when they asked us not to push it in our tired and overwhelmed state.

73. The work I came home to...did I mention I am teaching again? That the door that seemed to slam shut irrevocably over the summer miraculously opened again? And that, though I am challenged tremendously (in terms of time, mental space and many other things) I am also grateful to be teaching and having a chance to read and learn more about the era of the early church?

74. Rain. It rained all morning, and looks as though it could rain again. We've needed it so, and the world looks refreshed.

Multitude Monday

Yes, it's Monday again! And I'm feeling especially thankful today...

56. For God's mercies, new every morning.

57. For a lovely note from friends, with a gift to help with our livelihood and support.

58. For other encouraging notes and emails from friends in the past week, including those who have sent me job and writing leads in this challenging time.

59. For the life of Miss Eleanor, a beloved member of our parish, and a great saint of God, who went home to Jesus this past weekend (she was in her 90s).

60. For the ways in which the sweet girl and I were able to talk openly, from the heart, about Miss Eleanor's life and death.

61. For my precious Daddy's recent 78th birthday. How thankful I am that he is still on this earth, able to celebrate his life and the many wonderful things the Lord has done to sustain him in the health crisis of the past months.

62. For writing time...reviews, an article proposal, and some preliminary thinking (creative, collaborative brainstorming with my dear husband) on the juvenile mystery novel I began and deserted a few years ago. It may yet get written!

Easter Monday Gratitude

It's been a while since I've posted a Monday blessings list. I thought I'd jump right in with gratitude on this Easter Monday!

So grateful for:

45) Easter! Not just this particular Easter day, though it was a beautiful one. But for Easter life...the risen life of our Lord, who defeated death once and for all, and who reigns in victory! I am especially thankful that he invites me into the power and joy of his risen life.

46) The sweet girl's joy upon receiving her first Communion yesterday. It was such a lovely moment, and such a right one. After prayer, we decided to use this Lent as special preparation time with her. The preparation time was good, and when the time came yesterday to go forward, and our priest spoke the welcome to the table, her face was just alight with joy. I loved seeing her listen so intently all during Holy Week, and really move into the joy of the resurrection yesterday. Is there anything more beautiful than seeing your child's hands cupped to receive the bread?

47) Spring, spring, spring! Did I mention it's really spring? Sunshine, daffodils, budding trees, and the beauty of the rain.

48) My birthday week before last. Yes, it has been a while since I've posted a gratitude list, and I had so much to be thankful for on this particular birthday. Most especially the love of my wonderful husband and daughter, who gave me such a beautiful day. Breakfast in bed (bagel, juice and cereal drowned in milk by my seven year old!) and a gorgeous morning/afternoon at Phipps Conservatory, my favorite birthday tradition. We were able to do it this year because of a thoughtful gift from my parents. Other gifts, loving notes, and cards made the day so special. And yes, it was capped off by Chinese food and a homemade cake.

49) My parents 56th wedding anniversary just a few days before my birthday. And my mom also just turned 78. I am so blessed that they are healthy and vigorous and happy, enjoying life, each other and the Lord. As my Dad told me the other day, he feels like every day is a gift.

50) Miraculous provision, right when we needed it. Our financial struggles are so stressful and of such long duration, I try not to mention them here. But I have to recount the marvelous works of God! Sometimes our ongoing, long-term stresses meet short-term crisis/needs. We had one of those times lately. Hardly before we'd had time to pray, and thankfully before I'd had time to slip into a huge stretch of anxiety (my tendency) provision arrived. It was amazing...down almost to the exact penny of what we needed. Except, of course, that the Lord (in his beautiful way) gave just a little extra. About seven dollars extra! Most of all, he used loving friends to bless us, showing us again the beauty of his body.

So much to be thankful for this Easter Monday.

Grateful Monday

Monday again! I thought the beginning of a new school/work week, combined with the beginning of a new month, seemed like a great time for a gratitude post.

Right now I'm grateful for:

38. An insight, and some sabbath time yesterday (including a nap). The insight was spoken a couple of weeks ago by my pastor in his Sunday sermon. He was speaking of rest and talked of the importance of working from rest, not merely resting from work. It's helped me rethink through how I look at Sundays as the first day of the week, a day to find rest and refreshment and renewal and to look ahead, not just a day to recuperate.

39. The Olympics. Given all our t.v. "issues" we didn't think we'd get to watch them, but we managed to get a hiccupy NBC and were so glad we did. I've always loved the Olympics and have some wonderful childhood memories of watching them with my family. The sweet girl's seven year old imagination was entirely seized by the wonderful athletes and events, not to mention the sheer spectacle of the ceremonies and the fun things she got to learn about Canada (where dear friends recently moved, which made the information and scenes seem all the more pertinent). She's been drawing bobsledders and "skating" around the kitchen for days (to "Swan Lake" -- what's even more fun is she makes her Dad skate around too, as her partner!) and has even created a neat set of multi-colored Olympic rings from construction paper, currently taped to a kitchen drawer. We'll miss Vancouver!

40. Lessons that flow so naturally from watching the Olympics. Like "someone has to finish in 18th place." And "18th place still means you're 18th best in the world at your sport." And the difference between events that require speed and those that require endurance. And on and on.

41. Library sales. We only picked up a few things at this last sale, but some of them were gold, including a beautiful recording, from 1940, of Beethoven's 9th symphony on CD. It's a piece of music I've often wished I owned, so to find such a lovely rendition for $2 (pricey for a sale, but still a bargain!) was wonderful.

42. March! Oh yes, March! We've still got literal piles of snow on the ground, and I'm sure we'll get more, but turning the corner on March makes me feel we're really gaining ground on spring now. And oh I love spring!

43. The return of LOST. The final season is shaping up to be one of the most interesting bits of story-telling I could have imagined, and I'm loving all the good conversations with fellow LOST enthusiasts. And I am most grateful for Erin, who has been recording the show for us each week (our t.v. reception doesn't extend to ABC) providing me and D. with a standing Friday evening date. We don't mind at all that we're three days behind as we watch. It makes us feel like we're flashing around in time, just like they did on the island last year...

44. Lenten scriptures. About which I hope to post more this week.

Thankful Monday

A few months ago I decided to begin making regular "gratitude lists" -- lists of specific things I'm thankful for. The idea is to do this on a regular basis, preferably weekly. I got the idea from Ann Voskamp's Gratitude Community/Multitude Monday on her beautiful blog A Holy Experience.

I've been more conscious of counting my blessings, but it hasn't always translated into actual lists on the blog each Monday. Mondays seem to get here so quickly, and to move past in such a blur! Maybe that's part of the challenge, actually, to move into the new school/work week (following a day of rest) conscious of new blessings.

So here I go again...so thankful on this Monday for...

30) Light on snow. Is there anything more dazzling than early morning sunlight on pristine layers of white? It sparkles like a carpet of diamonds. Breath-taking.

31) Snow on trees. Especially as it was falling, falling, falling. At midnight, as Friday turned to Saturday, I peeked through the blinds in our front room and looked out the window, just in awe over the white and silver and pink that had turned the ordinary world of our urban landscape into fairyland. The midnight sky was pink, truly, pale and and luminous like the inside of an oyster shell, and snow poured onto the branches of the nearby sycamore trees. Their limbs looked drenched in beauty.

32) The delight of a child playing in snow. My little girl had never had so much snow to play with, in her seven and a half years. She was astonished by the piles, amazed by how easy it was to build a *really big* snowman with her Daddy (we named him Sebastian, and he's still guarding our front door, carrot nose and all -- not at all one of the little mini-snowmen we usually have to content ourselves with each winter) and giggled over trying to walk, in her unwieldy layers of clothing, through the heavy snow.

33) A warm home. Oh how thankful we were that the power, after a very brief outtage in the night as the snow poured down, came back on.

34) A day when no alarm clocks were set at all. Our church had to cancel services yesterday, and though that was unfortunate, we truly enjoyed a day of rest. We all slept in, and the sleep was delicious, especially after so much time spent playing in the snow and digging out the car (the grown-up version of snow playing isn't nearly as much fun!)

35) Midsummer picnics in Mr. Knightley's strawberry garden and on Box Hill...in February. Yes, I decided to re-read Emma last week. I do love reading Austen anytime, anywhere, but winter reads are forever my favorite.

36) Time to finish listening to a story. My husband and I have been listening to the wonderful audio versions of the Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander. In recent weeks we'd slowed to a crawl, just so busy we hadn't had time to listen (except late at night when we were too tired). But being snowed in for two days has so many advantages. We finally finished The Black Cauldron (I was so eager for him to hear the finish, which is so different in the book than in the awful movie that bears so little resemblance to the book). If you've never heard James Langton read these books, you've missed out. I especially love his Eilowny voice!

37)The safe return of my sister and her husband from their vacation in Puerto Rico. I'm so thankful they were able to take some beautiful time away.

Multitude Monday (Counting One Thousand Gifts)

The weekend provided some good time to rest and catch-up on things here at home. The weather was beautiful too, even though it got a tad chillier again. At least not as cold as the week before! I think our leaves are at their peak...

I'm trying to be better at counting my blessings, and am trying to remember to share some of them each Monday (or at least some Mondays!) on my blog. This is an ongoing project; I got the idea from the Gratitude Community at Holy Experience. So far it's been a good exercise, helping to keep me more conscious of the many people and things I have to be grateful for.

Today I'm feeling especially grateful for:

5. Time spent in the little gazebo park yesterday with the sweet girl. There are several lovely trees there, truly at the peak of their colors (I'll try to post some photos later on). While she piled leaves high and played, first alone and then with some thoughtful older kids from the neighborhood (kids we'd never met before) I had the chance to just sit nearby and rest and write some snippets of poetry.

6. Old movies. Sometimes there's just nothing better than popping in an old movie and snuggling down under a fleece blanket to watch it. Last night I watched most of the first half of The Sound of Music, and it brought back such lovely memories from my childhood, especially the time I saw it on the big screen with my Dad and sister.

7. Good sermons. I am feeling so thankful for the quality of preaching in our church right now. Our pastor has been preaching a particularly rich sermon series on 2nd Corinthians, and I almost always leave with so much to ponder. Yesterday was especially thought-provoking, all about authentic discipleship; lots there for the Lord to work deeper into my heart.

8. Far-away friends who continue to love us and partner with us in ministry. So, so thankful for these folks.

9. A husband who prays for me, learns and grows with me, encourages me, and makes me laugh. I wish I could remember what we got the giggles about late last night, when we were both feeling extra silly and tired. I'm sure it will come back to me sometime!

10. Beautiful music. This week, especially Bach, and especially the Well-Tempered Clavier. I've been listening to a wonderful 2-CD set from our public library, with the songs played by a pianist named Vladimir Feltsman. I love that the sweet girl is really responding to Bach too. She's been asking for him by name...that is, when she isn't asking for doo-wop (which has recently become one of her favorite types of music...yes, another library CD getting a lot of play!).

An Attitude of Gratitude

When I was a little girl, one of my favorite hymns was Count Your Blessings. You may remember it:

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings,
name them one by one, Count your blessings,
see what God hath done! Count your blessings,
name them one by one,
Count your many blessings see what God has done.

One reason I loved it so much was because my big sister Martha used to sing it with me, and she always made the chorus so much fun. When she got to the second "name them one by one" she would slow down dramatically and then add "two, three, four," as a melodic aside. Although this isn't a song I hear sung much in churches nowadays, I still sometimes sing it and I always add my sister's creative flourish.

I've been thinking for a while of joining the "Gratitude Community" over at the blog Holy Experience. It's a wonderful blog (which should have long ago made it into the sidebar of my favorites) written by Ann Voskamp, the author of the geography/earth science text I'm using with the sweet girl in our grammar 2 year. She's encouraging people to cultivate gratitude, and her "Gratitude Community" is a place where people join in by choosing to consciously list things they're grateful for, either in a private journal and/or via blogs. The idea as I see it is not to fixate on the counting itself or the number (though she suggests members strive to eventually list 1000 things they're grateful for) but to let the exercise itself nourish one's inner attitude of praise and thanksgiving.

I often find myself journaling about the things I'm most thankful for, but in these busy and way-too-full days, I think I need the added encouragement of walking beside others who are doing it regularly. I want it to become a habit. So I'll be trying to cultivate more times of thanksgiving in my prayers and private journaling, and on Mondays, I will try to share some of those things I'm thankful for here.

So here's the first handful of things I'm thankful for:

1. Our church is out of the basement. After years of worshiping in our temporary space downstairs, our small church family moved to our newly-renovated-but-still-in-process sanctuary late this summer. On Saturday, our bishop/archbishop came to bless the space, and to install our interim pastor as our rector. It was a joyous celebration with the space filled to the brim with friends old and new. I just kept thinking "how beautiful is the body of Christ."

2. The sweet girl played drums at the offertory. Yes, my precious seven year old, once such a shy toddler she burst into tears and ran away from a ballet recital, played drums with several of her musical classmates at the worship service. (Our music minister has been teaching world drums at a weekly class.) She was the youngest one playing, and she did great, which blessed her parents' hearts on all kinds of levels. Perhaps the deepest level was the song they played ("Nothing But the Blood of Jesus," long a favorite) and realizing she was actually part of the worship team. A close second was how many members of the congregation came up and said something encouraging to her or to us later. This is the community she's spent her whole life in, was baptized in, spoke some of her first words in on a miraculous Easter Sunday in 2005. Some of these folks have prayed for her since before she was born.

3. The annual family tradition of going to Ohio for an October craft & music festival. We went on Sunday (after the late evening at worship on Saturday) and it was just a gorgeous autumn day. We watched the clog dancers (the sweet girl's favorite), wandered around looking at beautiful handcrafted arts, sat under yellowing trees and listened to our favorite bluegrass band (we hear them every year)...and I ate sweet potato fries.

4. My mom and sister Mary's recent trip to Asheville. They got to go together to the annual play about the life of Thomas Wolfe. My paternal grandparents (long passed on) are characters in the play, and M & M said it was so amazing to see them depicted on stage. They got to have dinner with the playwright, producer and the actor playing our grandfather. I'm thankful for people who care about writing (and acting) good stories that honor the lives of real people. I'm thankful my mom and sister had this precious time together.