Gratitude Thursday

I'm back...and you probably didn't even know I was gone!

We spent the past few days in Virginia visiting with my husband's family. His mother and stepfather are going through some major changes and challenges as his alzheimer's grows worse and it was a hard few days for all of us. Lots of laughter and love, yes, but also some stress and tears.

Seeing someone you love fall into such confusion and disorientation is always difficult. Robert is the only grandfather my daughter has ever known on her dad's side of the family (her paternal biological granddaddy died when she was three months old). And of course, my dad, her Papaw on the other side, has been quite ill this year too.

We got back last night, quite late, and all of us feeling right on the edge of getting sick. The sweet girl has congestion and a hacking cough; I'm battling sore throat and on-again/off-again sinus pain; Dana is just plain tired. We were so tired that we probably should have come straight home, but we decided to try to visit an old friend of D's in West Virginia. We met him and his youngest child for lunch, then followed them several miles off the highway to their house. It was good to see them, but we promptly got lost trying to find a way to another highway on our way out, and the whole day was like that -- missed turns, needing extra bathroom breaks, long lines at restaurants, tempers getting short from time to time, everybody just longing for home and our own beds, everyone just a little "off" emotionally.

The only thing that finally worked to get us all back to some sense of balance was a long time of reading aloud, which is one reason why my throat is sore and hoarse today. We finished The Wheel on the School (incredible book!) and plowed several chapters into The Long Winter. I was planning to read that one later this autumn, when we were closer to actual winter, but it happened to be handy as I scooped up a "just in case we need one more book for the car" book on my way out the door Sunday afternoon. And it turned out that Wilder was just the voice we needed in that final push homeward -- a prose voice we all know, love and appreciate so much.

You're probably wondering, given the title of this post, where's the gratitude? But there's a lot of there, shot through the details of the exhausting past few days. Here are just a few blessings I'm counting this afternoon (adding them to my ongoing gratitude list)...

63. The opportunity to just be present for my husband and his family through this really hard time. The blessing of hugs given and received, and laughter in the midst of hard decisions and painful moments.

64. The beautiful minute the other evening when Robert, D's stepdad, seemed to become fully and suddenly "himself" again. He smiled, made a joke, touched his wife's face with loving affection, gave me a wink. It faded quickly and he soon wandered off again, but it was such a good reminder of who he is (not who he "was" but still "is") and why my mom-in-law is doing her level best to make good decisions about loving care.

65. Fun cousin time for the sweet girl her younger cousin Tori (just one of two younger cousins she has -- though she has a plethora of older ones!)

66. The beauty of apple tree country when we got lost in W. VA. If one must get lost, getting lost on a beautiful blue-sky September day on winding roads past ripening orchards is definitely the way to do it.

67. Work to come home to. Yes, I'm being grateful for this. There is way too much of it, and I have no idea how it will all get done this autumn -- the overwhelmingness of it all kept me up part of the night, though a good prayer time enabled me to get back to sleep about 5 this morning.

68. And yes, we slept in.

69. Poetry. Billy Collins. 'Nuff said? I'm hoping to dig up some scraps of writing time to review his lovely collection The Trouble with Poetry which I finished reading early this morning.

70. Homeschool resources and books from my sis-in-law. She brought a huge plastic tub of stuff over for me to go through, and I plowed through with great eagerness (there was a lot of plowing through of "stuff" over the past few days, as we began to help my mother-in-law go through things preparatory for their big move to a retirement community). It was fun, in the midst of all that, to have some good books to go through. We wedged them into the back of the car, a couple of nice big stacks.

71. The first book I saw on top of the stack, when I opened the big tub, was a copy of Melisa Wiley's Little House in the Highlands. Almost cried when I saw it -- in the middle of exhaustion and much emotion, seeing that there was like seeing a note from an old friend. (I know Melissa is just a blog acquaintance, but she blesses my life regularly...and what delight to own this lovely book!)

72. A chance to talk with my mom by phone for a while, during the time we were at my mother-in-law's. It was one of the hardest decisions in the world to not go on to Richmond; I miss my parents so. My dad, thankfully, is still stable and seems to be strengthening, but I miss them. But I trusted their wise counsel when they asked us not to push it in our tired and overwhelmed state.

73. The work I came home to...did I mention I am teaching again? That the door that seemed to slam shut irrevocably over the summer miraculously opened again? And that, though I am challenged tremendously (in terms of time, mental space and many other things) I am also grateful to be teaching and having a chance to read and learn more about the era of the early church?

74. Rain. It rained all morning, and looks as though it could rain again. We've needed it so, and the world looks refreshed.